As you can probably tell my wedding is looking to be quite traditional, and politics will not be the main agenda but should new brides hold onto strong feminist views when planning a wedding or are we all just hypocrites?

I try to think of myself as being a modern woman, I work hard and make my own money and we share the bills straight down the middle in our household. Me and Luke have an equal relationship, and we both have different strong points that we bring to the partnership.

I wouldn’t say that I am an active feminist but there are some views I believe in and I do think women should be treated as equals within reason. However I believe that equality is subject to context, as men and women are different that should be respected and celebrated; rather than trying to make everyone the same. This is of course only referring to physical attributes, when it comes to intellect, the same opportunities should be open to both genders.

So what about marriage? Most feminists are not against getting married but it is the way you do it and which aspects of the traditions and customs you adopt for your ceremony.

The most condescending tradition is that the father of the bride should give his daughter away, representing the bride going from her fathers care into her new husbands’. This is a tradition that I am not taking up, although I will be given away, it will be my Mother who walks me down the aisle. This is due to my Mother being the most influential person in my life and I am proud to walk down the aisle with her, as for being put into Luke’s care… well as mentioned before it is a partnership and he can try as much as he likes but ‘obey’ will not be n the vows .

Another tradition is taking on the surname, I will be taking on Lukes surname, as I am not particularly attached to my surname and have been known as both Routledge, and Benstead in the past (my fathers and step fathers surname). I also want to have the same surname as my children when we do start a family.

Many feminists keep their own name or add a double barreled surname, that is their choice and I think if for some reason I had been attached to my surname I may consider it. Other feminists opt for a hybrid of both names, or choosing a mutually agreed surname that has no reference to either surname. I quite like the idea of surnames being passed down as it helps if you wanted to trace your family tree, also gives you a sense of belonging to something (must be a tribal influence).

As I am not a feminist, I do not feel any guilt in wanting to feel like a princess for one day, I wouldn’t want to be a hypocrit but I think that a feminist wedding can be just as lovely as a traditional.